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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Missing in Action

Well, hello there.

It's been awhile hasn't it?? More like 3+ months or something. Geesh, that just maybe a record around here. Life has been, well - pretty fantastic as of late & I have pretty good reason for being MIA for so long.

The night before Thanksgiving, as I was stuck in the ER with the dreaded swine flu - hooked up to an IV, and praying "Please, God - don't let me throw up on that sweet ER nurse" the H and I learned - we were in fact expecting. Yep, a baby. I was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant.

We had no idea, although - obviously I thought it could be a possibly, but truthfully when you're sick with a 102 fever for a week, and busy throwing up your insides, the last thing you're thinking is "hey, where'd my period go??". Through laughter, and even a few tears - that night my whole world changed.

Because I had some slight spotting, and was so sick - the ER doc told me I was at risk for what they call a "spotaneous miscarriage" - telling me this happens to almost 60% of first time moms & there was really no explination for it. Seriously? I just learned I was having a baby, and now you're telling me there's a 60% that I'm going to loose it? Definitely not what I wanted to hear.

After 2 weeks on bed rest, I was able to see my OB who informed me that there was nothing I could do at this point in my pregnancy, if miscarriage was going to happen - there was nothing I could do, or couldn't do that would prevent it; that being said - she had no reason to beleive I didn't have a strong, healthy pregnancy. SCORE. Exactly what I wanted to hear.

A few weeks later, we had an ultrasound where we were finally able to see our little peanut, who even though I may be a little partial to, I think he/she is absolute perfection.

While some brutal morning, noon and night sickness has moved in and taken up permanent residency in my body, so has this precious little human being. To say I feel incredibly lucky and extremly blessed would be an understatement, but along with that comes panic & worry.

How are we going to do this? Financially, physically, emotionally? Am I strong enough for this? I know I am, I know we are; but it's still scary. But it's a kind of scary I am happily embracing. It's not about me anymore, it's about this new life we created - out of love. With that, I know we can get through anything.

Now, if only this morning sickness will pass. 14 weeks in, 26 more to go.


Etsuko said...

Congratulations! I just had my first baby three months ago and I just wanted to say that most mothers stop the morning sickness after the first trimester - of course I'm not most mothers so mine lasted about 9 months with a little three week break somewhere in the middle...
But either way - as soon as you see your son/daughter, it really does all disappear as you stare at the most beautiful and perfect child you've ever held.

Semicharmed (Brandi) said...

Etsuko - Thank you!! I'm over the moon excited! I know, I keep hearing that - I am really praying it gets better. I'm 15 weeks now, and it seems to be easing up a little bit, I've made it almost a week without getting sick - so for that I'm thankful! I'm still nauseas, but I can deal with that!! I know, I really cannot wait to meet my little peanut, I keep thinking 5 1/2 more months....really??? It's torture, but your right it will be so worth it :)