The first of many more to come

Dear Baby,
Today was me and papa's big appointment - our level 2 ultrasound. Mama didn't sleep much last night, because she was so excited but I won't fool you - it was mostly because my hips hurt & papa had the tv too loud; hopefully before you get here we'll work on that last one. After waiting almost an hour to see the sweet ultrasound technician, we were finally called back and the fun began! They measured all your organs, and checked out your heart and spine to make sure everything looked good & thank GOD, it did. Hearing your little heart beat fill up the room, was all it took & the tears didn't stop for another few hours. You were quite the party animal this morning, rolling around & dancing in mama's belly - I guess it was the cheerios I ate this morning. About a half hour into the ultrasound you must have tuckered out - you curled up in a ball and went to sleep - flipping over so your back was facing us. I think your sassy already.
In the middle of our ultrasound - you decided to "flash us" - throwing up your hands and spreading your little tiny legs, at that moment the nurse said "it's your little girl in there".
My little girl.
Of course papa said he knew all along, because well you'll later learn he's a pretty wise fella. Our baby girl. I love the way that sounds. I love that I get to be a mama to you beautiful girl. I have so many hopes and dreams for you, so much that I want for you. Mostly I want you to be happy, and healthy. I want you to know that no matter what happens in life you always have someone in your corner, someone who will love you & treasure you, someone who no matter what life may bring or how hard things get will never leave your side. My sweet baby girl.

The little guy, whose not so little anymore

Because it's been FAR too long since I've posted pictures of my sweet, adorable, little bug of a nephew who might I add turned ONE last month. Crazy right???

Speaking too soon

So yeah, remember how I said last week that morning sickness had taken a hike?

Well, it's back.

Came back yesterday morning with a vegenance.
Hubby looked at me, oh so sweetly and said "You're not going to throw up, just relax" like he was talking me down from a ledge or something.
It didn't work, but the gesture was sweet nonetheless.

Today I'm feeling pretty lousy again - no energy, nauseas, just blah.

I made the mistake of having pancakes and syrup for breakfast this morning and I think it made my blood sugar spike, because I got the shakes after - so now I've been stressing all day about gestational diabetes - what if I have it? What will we do?

I mean, do all first time moms do this? Stress about the craziest things?
Because lately, that's all I can do.

We have our big Level II ultrasound coming up at 20 weeks. This is where they check all the organs, making sure the kidneys & heart are functioning properly & if we're lucky hopefully we'll get to see this little bunnies parts. As excited as I am about this appointment, and really? I'm excited. I'm also super nervous. Nervous that things won't go as planned, nervous that we'll get bad news, nervous that in a moment the happiness that we've felt for the last 17 weeks could all be taken away. Hubby says I'm being "morbid" and I'm "mind fu**ing" myself. I think I have pretty legimate fears, don't you? I asked my SIL a few weeks ago, if I was normal for stressing so much - did she when she was pregnant w/bug? "Yep" she said, "and it doesn't stop once the baby comes, you just have new things to stress about".

Great! A lifetime of worrying? I don't think target makes a bottle of tums big enough for that.