Unbeleivable

Yep, that's how I'm gonna sum up turning 30 - unbelievable, amazing, incredible.

No more crazy, wild 20's - where your trying to figure out what you want to do and who you want to be. I know what I want, and I know who I am - finally after all these years.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, I'm taking the advice of a wise soul and not focusing on all the things I wanted to have done by now, but instead looking at how far I've come and how much I have done up till this point.

Turning 30 was pretty great, and I'm not even done celebrating! Tuesday morning greeting me with a kiss from the h, and a text from my SIL. The H was driving me to the train station and at 7:00, my cell goes off. Now I'm thinking who on earth is texting me this early?? None of my friends are up then (bastards) could only be my SIL Dannielle. Open the message to a picture of Ian & him singing happy birthday to his Aunt Bebe. Yes folks, instant tears, because really - I am that sentimental.


When I got into work, the girls had gotten me balloons and flowers, which we're gorgeous.

My boss got me these balloons, the black one has a picture of the grim reaper and says "I'm just here for the cake" - HA!

Pink Roses absolutely beautiful

Yellow roses, which happen to be my all time favorite and don't mind that apple there. It's only been there for a couple weeks. Maybe tomorrow I should throw it.

I have no idea what these flowers are called, but they were BEAUTIFUL in person! And they smelled amazing.

Later on that afternoon the girls threw me a party! Complete with - are you ready? Chocolate PB cake and red velvet cake!!! YUMMO!

I was super embarassed, as you can see in every picture I look like I'm praying "please god let this end soon!"

I really wasn't expecting a party at work, the girls definitely out did themselves!! I was able to sneak out a little early, the H had asked me earlier "is there any way you can leave early" and I was like, well it is my birthday! So my boss told me to get outta there and I headed home.

We had a quiet night at home (we both actually feel asleep by 9:00 - such romantics we are!).

The H surprised me with the complete series of The OC (I can't even begin to tell you of my love for Seth Cohen!)

and a new MP3 player, as my Zune is a POS. I cannot wait to upload all my tunes on that baby!!!

My stepdaughter surprised me with a "coupon book" - so, so creative!!! Coupons for free bathroom, kitchen, house cleaning, free pedicure, eye brow pluck (yes, I'm 30 and I can't pluck my own eyebrows - don't judge!!). It really was so thoughtful!

Last night, I headed to my SIL's - to help out a little, and of course see the little guy. After I was there for a little while Dannielle said "Ian got you something, but do you want to open it now or Saturday", now I'm not one for decision making so I asked her what she thought I should do & she said well, I have a card for you - "why don't you take the card now & we'll do your gift Saturday at dinner". Sounded like a plan! I was dying to read the card, but I waited until I got home. She had already warned me that "I might cry", I mean - hello this is the girl that cries over greeting cards and babies, of course I was going to cry. And boy was she right!!

I'm not gonna tell you word for word what she said, because some things I'll keep to myself, BUT what I will tell you is that aside from me bawling like a baby in the car, I read some of the most amazing things anyone has ever said to me - in my entire life. If there is anything that I've learned in these 30 years that I've been on this earth is that family, family is the most important thing in the world. It's the reason why I get up in the morning, it's the reason why the world goes round & I am so, so lucky to say - I have the most amazing family. I am so thankful, on so many levels. So 30, 40, 50 - hell even 60. I can handle, as long as their by my side I think I'll be just fine!

The big 3-0

Tomorrow's my big 3-0, and ummm....I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Birthday's always tend to make me sad for some reason. So I'm trying to keep it together.

There's so much I thought I would have had done by now.
Like have a baby (or two), own a home, maybe have a job that I loved or a waistline that I could actually see, alas - no go.

But I do have a home, a beautiful family, a husband who is far more than I ever could have asked for, step kids who even though I think have given me a grey hair or two are pretty awesome. I have a sister in law, who is my rock and probably one of my very best friends and the one person aside from my hubby who let's me just be me.
I have a nephew who melts my heart, just by the sight of his little red head and turkey legs.
I have friends, who are crazy, loud, obnoxious, fiercly loyal and sometimes dramatic but I can't imagine my life without them. I have a job, that may not be an ideal situation, but I love what I do & most people aren't fortunate enough to be able to say that.
I am beyond blessed, truly I know that.
When I sit back and think about it life, yeah.....it's pretty fantastic - so I shouldn't complain. Maybe 30 will be my best year so far, so here's to growing older and new adventures & maybe babies and waistlines. HA!

I saw this somewhere a while ago, I don't remember where I found it but I think it's fitting:

By 30 you should know:
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don't like to.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
9. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
11. What you would and wouldn't do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30.

By 30 you should have:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. 4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you're content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you're looking to forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. 13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better

So, thirty huh?? Maybe it's not so bad afterall. They say thirties are the new twenties right?? Well, bring it on - but maybe with a side of red wine, or a martini, or maybe both. Hell, it is my birthday afterall!!

Kaiden's Birthday

Today, was my friend B's sons 5th birthday. I have to admit, I wasn't feeling it. I didn't feel like going, because honestly I'm still not feeling 100% & there was a lot I had to do to get ready, like wrap presents, cook, bake....blah blah blah.

I was up at 6:00am this morning baking ziti:

Didn't come out amazing, but what can I say - I CANNOT cook. At all. Ever. I can bake, but no cooking.

The party was @ 3:00, I got there around 3:30ish, and was greeted by this beauty:

Arianna, who was attached to my hip for most of the day/night. I adore her, and well I think the feeling is mutual. As I was stumbling out the door (after one too many mojitos, thanks B!), Ari said to me:

“Please don't go yet Brandi, I wanna come home with you and Mr. Paul”
I said “Oh, really?”
She said all casually “Yeah, I’m gonna go pack a overnight bag and be right back ok? Don’t tell my mom ok?"

HA! Love this kid to pieces but she still didn’t come home with me and Mr. Paul.

So the birthday boy, wanted a "Diego" party. I think Diego is Dora's "friend", not to be confused with "Boots" (and I don't know HOW I know this).

Well, guess who showed up???

Diego!!! Ari, was SO excited! She kept saying "I wanna talk to Diego, can I hug him? Why does he dance like that? What's in his backpack? Can I touch it?" So, so cute!!

Her Brother on the other hand??

Not so sure how he felt about Diego at first, but they quickly became pals.

Oh and Spiderman showed up too. I have to honest, he scared me a little. He was wearing his Speidi suit, which...ummm, was really tight. And he was dancing and shaking around, and I was a little frieghtened, for him and the children. But we won't talk about that.

There was a lot going on, tons of people, lots of food, lots of fun though.

But I'm happy to be home, maybe the fact that there are no screaming kids, or that I had a few mojitos but either way life is good.

Sick (Edition 457)

I'm sick, again. W.T.F!
I know, this is like the 6th time since November. Crazy right?? Went to the doctor this morning, because seriously I just can’t take it anymore. Woke up Saturday morning to what felt like razor blades in my throat. By the time Saturday night rolled around I spiked a fever and was out cold by 7:00pm, which never happens, not that I wouldn't mind it if it did.
Sunday, I stayed in bed all day - watched a Tough Love marathon (which is my new favorite show btw), the last few episodes of Brothers & Sisters and The Real Housewives of NYC and saw a sneak preview for the Jersey houswives, all I can say is girls hold on to your aqua net.

Monday morning, I felt like a truck had rolled over me, there was no way I was hauling my ass to NYC. My boss told me if I didn't feel up to it to stay home Tuesday also, and that's exactly what I did. This morning, after waking up for the 5th day in a row feeling like complete and utter crap I finally caved and called the doctor. If I just have a cold I usually don't go to the doctor, hell - I usually don't go to the doctor ever, but that's another story for another day.
Anyway, after the visit, which was pretty worthless aside from the fact that they took my $25 co-pay, poked me for bloodwork (ouch) and wrote me $50 in prescriptions (which I didn't fill) Doc told me “yeah, you have the flu, it really needs to just work it's course."
This my friends, is why I don’t go to the doctors ever. So now I’m laying around in my pj’s - BORED out of my mind - watching the E! THS, of JLO (which truth be told, is pretty great!). I can't watch one more baby story or jon and kate plus 8 marathon so I think I’m heading back to work tomorrow. At this point, anything looks better than the couch.

Grace in Small Things 5/365

Geez I really suck at keeping up with these don't I?? Anyhow, here are a few things I'm thankful for this Sunday:

1. 70 degree weather this weekend, fresh air through the apartment.
2. The smell of fresh baking pizza in the oven & the cute husband who made it
3. The one day fluke virus that enabled me to crawl into bed at 7:00 last night, and watch the SATC movie and pass out. 14 full hours of sleep, just what the doctor ordered.
4. Coming home Friday night, after my "date night" with SIL and the little guy. Smelling of sweet babies (or as the H says A&D ointment), whatever it is I'll take it.
5. Fresh clean sheets....ummmm the smell of downy filling my bedroom, must be bliss.

The Universe

I just got home from work. It's 10:43, I had the day from hell. I mean, seriously I can't even begin to describe how bad today was - so I won't. Anyhow, on the way home:

• on a smelly (who eats hoagies on THE TRAIN???!!!)
• loud (when your on the phone, really you don't have to SCREAM)
• crowded (lady next to me was practically laying on my shoulder, snoring in my ear)

Train....I got the following email.

"Oh yeah, Brandi, I forgot to tell you...You get as many "do-overs" as you like. Of course, you never know you're living a "do-over" until it's over.
There are lots of reasons for wanting a "do-over." Most of all, people want another chance to do things they were afraid to do the first time, and to say things they were afraid to say. Oddly enough, it's not their mistakes they want to rework, but their "unused" minutes.
Yeah, pretty nifty, but you should know that it isn't any easier the next time, and because no two ever go exactly the same, the gifts, opportunities, and loves of one, never appear the same way again. Never.
So all in all, it's better to live as if there are no "do-overs," so that you won't need one. But I thought I'd share this with you anyway, to work in the bits about fear, mistakes, and how precious today's opportunities really and truly are.

Crafty as a fox, The Universe"

Instant better mood. I don't know how I came across this website, basically if you sign up
"the universe" sends you random email messages everyday - sort of a words of wisdom if you will. Pretty clever that universe wouldn't ya say??

Slow dancing in a burning room

Fighting. Lately I feel like that's all we've been doing is fighting. Which is unusual, we hardly ever fight usually. People joke that watching is "fight" is the most boring thing ever, because we just don't do it - we bicker but that's as far as it goes. But lately I feel like we're not on the same page. It started with a joke, I guess I carried too far - I was wrong, but I apologized. I don't think he's gotten over it. He's angry, he closes up and doesn't talk about it. Drives me nuts.
Me - I'm a talker. I like to talk it out. I need resolution, but there just isn't any - maybe the thing I need to learn is there doesn't always have to be. Tonight I came home, told him I loved him and he said "ok". I don't know a girl on the planet who wants to hear ok when they tell their man they love them. Needless to say, it didn't go over well - I was upset and let him know. Maybe I'm too needy, maybe I need to hear it every once in awhile - I don't think that's too much to ask. Maybe I just have PMS and am overly sensitive - who knows.

Wise Words

Truer words have never been spoken, if only all women followed this advice, there would be so much less heartache.


“ If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. "

Oprah Winfrey

Happy Easter

I got this email this morning from a friend, it's so true I had to share!

ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY

Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket

Walk softly and carry a big carrot

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears

There’s no such thing as too much candy

All work and no play can make you a basket case

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits

Some body parts should be floppy

Keep your paws off other people’s jellybeans

Good things come in small sugar-coated packages

The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!!

HAVE A HAPPY EASTER

Better late than never

I have a confession to make. I’m just not in the mood to write when I get home anymore.
Also, now that my work has blocked oh….95% of the sites I regularly visit I don’t get a chance to catch up on everyone’s blogs as much as I’d like and when I come home, the last thing I feel like doing is staring at a computer. So, I apologize ahead of time for the lack of updates and comments – hopefully this weekend I will be able to catch up! Life is good, work is busy, life is busy – this time of year is really busy. Which is good, I shouldn't’t complain! Seems like every weekend this month it’s someone’s bday, guess August is a busy baby making month or something! But I love it, I love catching up with everyone even if it's during big family gatherings, seriously isn't that what happens when you get older??

Can you believe it’s Easter this weekend?? Finally got all my Easter shopping done, baskets for the kids & the little guy. Yes, I know he’s only a wee little babe – BUT he has to have an Easter basket. I’m not sure what to cook Sunday, seems as though it’ll be just us – so I don’t think I wanna make a big fuss.
Something semi – simple (not to be confused with semi-homemade). Any suggestions??
I'm thinking about a Mediterranean Pasta dish the Tyler Florence made a little while ago, with artichokes, sun dried tomatoes and feta cheese. Sounds yum, I just have to convince the rest of the fam.

Oh, and check the babe. I could go on and on and on for days about how much I love those chubby little cheeks and the way he smells and the fact, that I'm now aunt bebe, but I'll spare you all. It is dinner time after all.