Image Map

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Things they don’t tell you to expect – after you’ve expected

One thing I’ve learned since becoming a mom, is no one really tells you what becoming a parent does to your relationship with your spouse.
I’d like to think, no scratch that – I’ve always had a good relationship with my husband – he’s my best friend, my partner and I couldn’t imagine life without him.
But, these last few months have been hard. Not impossible, just hard. I think we are both trying to find our footing, me being a first time mom and him doing it all over again after 24 years (yes, 24 YEARS!) and not being in the best of health.
I’ve been back to work now, for a little over a month and he is at home with the baby, all day for 12-13 hours a day.
It’s a lot.The days are long, and my little miss is shall we say a little high maintenance? Very demanding, wants to be held constantly, cries when you put her down – yadda, yadda, yadda. It’s not easy for him. His patience is short, and me being the closest person to him, he tends to lash out. By no means am I saying I’m angel. I’m certainly not, less sleep and working crazy hours tend to make me a little irritable.
So we bicker, we’re quick to snap at one another and make snarky comments. Last week it all came to a head, things were said in the heat of the moment, that had it been a different situation may not have came across so harsh. I hurt his feelings, he hurt mine.

Honestly, I hate fighting. Truth be told I’d rather sweep things under the rug, and just suck it up rather than stir the pot. But you see where that got me?

I left him a little note the morning after – apologizing first, and second telling him really what I was trying to convey (but was somehow lost in translation).

We were able to talk it out afterwards, he was shocked. Shocked that I felt the way I did, and also probably I little shocked that I spoke up the way I did.

Lesson learned? Don’t keep things bottled up. Our spouses aren’t mind readers, or psychics. And

I really, really love my husband and everything that comes along with him.

So for my little miss – who I don’t want growing up and not speaking up for herself, or holding her own ground – I will stir the pot once in awhile, but I’ll make sure to add a spoonful of sugar (or two) in the process.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

On adjusting

This week has been, well to put it nicely kind of rough.

Next week marks a month since I’ve been back to work, and honestly I thought by this point I would have the whole “working mom” thing figured out, but sad to say I don’t feel like I’m any closer, than I was my first day back.

If I’m not working (which I feel like is never) I’m trying to spend as much time with the baby. So that leaves things like laundry, cleaning and one on one time with the H virtually non-existent.

How do you fit it all in?How do you manage to multi-task, so that your marriage, home, friend-life doesn’t suffer?

I’m having a really hard time figuring it out. So for now, my house is a mess, laundry is overflowing and hubby is ready for a divorce.

But this little one? Is SO worth it.